ashke.nu

Looking at my archives, I see that I’ve been writing something every month from June 2003 (and that’s as far as my archives go, I know I wrote before that, that was just the switch to movable type). Up until last January.

I feel completely out of date with everything, I’ve completley left most of my websites to their own fate, whilst doing what instead I don’t know. I find that all scripts I used to use are out of date and have “major security risks”, and I find it a dread to check my e-mail, just knowing the amount of spam and randomness I have to sort through.

The internet is not a fun place anymore.

I have to remember to update my fanlistings, and this time I actually let it slip a bit too long, as I didn’t update since August until today.

But I forget.

It’s so easy to forget chores, isn’t it? I find myself reading more things, than doing my own things. Participating in message boards is much cooler and entertaining than it was a couple of years ago, and I’ve found other things to occupy my mind with.

Sort of. I mean I’m still constantly bored out of my mind, and this has made my unbelievably lethargic regarding everything. I can’t be bothered to go to redundant tutorials one day a week - only lesson we have in a week regarding practical studies. And I find myself getting more and more alienated from the film making, and more invited towards the visual theory - which I btw chose a unit unrelated to my own course.

Passion and ambition is just not in me anymore. To be frank - I just can’t be arsed.

And that’s what happened with my websites. Now I’m simply revamping the whole site, because I found another purpose for it, and thought I might as well go through everything I’ve got on here, delete it, and revamp anything usable. And update the fanlistings which I so dearly hang onto.

I need to get more in touch with things, I’m getting embarrassingly bad at everything, just because I haven’t been practising. At the same time I find myself going to much simpler approaches to webdesign, rather than trying to impress with my fantabulous skills, which we all know I possess…

So what am I actually doing at the moment [in general]? Not a thing. Trying not to die out of boredom, and trying not to get too obsessed about losing the last of the “puppy fat” I’ve been trying to lose the last 6 years, which is pretty much what my life consist of (tracking what I eat and reading nutritional values on product labels). So maybe writing over-long posts like this will bring some life back into me. Or just cure the boredom for at least 10 minutes. Let’s hope so anyway.

So it’s been ages since I updated this space. I’ve been lazy with everything else as well, but I still feel a bit bad. Seems I have to force myself to write, and I never used to be that way before. I don’t know what has changed, yes, college, yes, more work-load, but did that stop me before? No it didn’t, I worked non-stop last summer and still managed to update every other week or so. Everything has died for me, don’t take care of my websites anymore, mo other domain is on an indefinite hiatus, and my fanlistings get updated maybe once a month or twice. Yes, still within the allowed time, but still. Seems like a burden and duty rather than an enjoyable waste of time.

A lot of things have happened since I last wrote. I don’t even remember what I wrote last time, probably about going to New York in February. Yes, that is still on, don’t know the exact date which is a bit embarrassing considering it’s not that far off in the future. I had the absolute worst holidays ever, got mono and was stuck at home with a wingeing mum, absolutely miserable. I did miss home, but after a week the glory of it wore off. Felt like proper shit and had to visit the doctors three times before they could tell me there’s nothing to do but wait for it to go away. And I was missing the one person who has come to be one of the most important people in my life - Lex. Absolutely raped my phone bill, but so worth it.

Life hasn’t, thus, been a dance, but getting steadily better. Not that sick anymore, only traces of the effects mono has had on me left. Ear has been absolutely bonkers since my flight back, has been locked and had a sensation of being underwater since. Only now starting to pop a bit, but is it a surprise having had an ear infection.

I should seriously get around to update this website and give it a total revamp. I had ideas even before I came here, but haven’t actually got around to do anything about it due to the immense workload. Have a million things to sort out with little time to do it. This includes going to London on Saturday to vote in the presidential election. Didn’t vote the first round as I didn’t have the time, so I shouldn’t miss the opportunity this time around. Well, I won’t have to go alone, Lex offered to come and give me company. Nice, as train trip absolutely bores the hell out of me.

Well, that’s as much as I can think of at the moment. Laters, dudes.

A lot of things are happening in my life right now, which I won’t get into that much right now. Our first project pretty much blew for me, so I’m hoping the second one will be better. I’m working all weekends at the cinema, which means my social life might be suffering a little. Not much, since student nights are usually during the week anyway, but I always have to decline going somewhere on Friday, as I mostly get in at 9.30 on Saturdays. I love working at the cinema, but I hate having to do 12h long shifts. But I guess it’s alright, since I’m getting paid for it.

So, I have bought my tickets back to Finland. Cost me almost £200 pounds. It would’ve cost me only £170, if I hadn’t had to transfer money from Finland to my English account. I got my tickets online, so the card I paid with had to be issued in the country of departure for security reasons. Well, during those few days it took to transfer the money, the price for the ticket home went from £85 to £110. I was a bit upset about this, but there was nothing I could do anymore about it but live with it. Besides, it means I get to go home, and on a cruise to Stockholm with my sister.

So it is confirmed, I am going to New York in February. It will cost me £545 pounds, but I think it’ll be so worth it. I really don’t know anyone of those that are going, but I’m not gonna let it bother me - it’s New York! Even if I have to go alone. I’ll probably go to most of the exhibitions the tutors have in mind to go to, so I won’t be completely alone. I’m a bit excited, though I know this will entirely mess up my budget. I can afford it barely, but I’ll have a tough time after wards to get back on track. For once I’m really glad I’m working. I’ll just take one more shifts to earn extra money.

What else…I think this is all I have to say. I can’t think of anything I could add, anyway.

Laters.

Am now well lodged in England. Term started officially yesterday, and I’ve already had my first job interview. I’m hoping on getting it, the job is ideal, and it would allow me to save for my next rent installment, and by a lucky chance get me to New York in February. Oh, how I’d love that, but the trip is £520, if I remember correctly, and that’s a lot. But it’s the US, and it’s New York even though it is February and mid winter. Grr. New York.

Course seems great, the tutors are really nice and have shown us really great short films/videos. First assignment was very basic and easy, but fun still. Everyone’s not a the same level using cameras etc, so a mandatory induction and introduction course is only reasonable.

Just to note, everything is really expensive in the UK. So beware, a paperback book costs £8 or more - WTF!!! Some things are cheaper, but that’s only because it’s cheaper to get it to the UK than getting it to Finland. Movie tickets are £7, £5 for students, which still is a lot. But movies are movies! Must sees!

Just updating to ensure everyone I’m actually alive. Lethargic, but alive non-the-less. Must now get sleep before I pass out.

I haven’t really known what to write here about, as I have quite gotten the best of my livejournal. Though I promised to only rant there about stupid stuff, I have come to realize there isn’t much more than the stupid stuff to write about.

Other than moving to England on September 21st, nothing important is going on. I am planning on revamping kalenedral.net, add a lot of stuff I haven’t updated yet, and make the updating over there more simple by writing some sort of script for it. I’m already brainstorming on things to include in the script, but it will probably be a while before I start even coding the thing. Once I start coding, it will be at least a month or two before I finish it, considering my studies, and my knowledge of PHP. But at least I have a project to look forward to.

What to do with ashke.nu, as I do have my livejournal as my blog, nowadays. I’m going to keep it my personal site, but what to do with the blog? I don’t want to throw it away, if I ever were to need it, and I do have more than one year worth of ramblings which I am not very much inclined to trash, even with the content considered. I haven’t decided yet, but I am thinking on it. I have a few ideas, but I don’t want to destroy the ideas by abusing them with my blabbering about them. So until I have some sort of conviction what to do, I’ll keep my mouth shut about it.

So yeah, regarding frequent updates, you can check out my livejournal at veele.livejournal.com, and friend me if you’ve got your own LJ.

I’ll keep this blog posted on my decisions regarding my domains etc. so be on the look out for that.

Until later - cheers!

I made a new theme called Garlic is Good. Very original, considering the images I’ve used for the layout. But mostly, it’s all mine, I didn’t exactly just customize a theme already made by someone, but I did check some codes and stuff to get mine to work.

Today was actually going to be a busy day, but then Pal got a stomach flu, so we couldn’t do anything of those things we’d planned. These things of course related to the World Skills 2005 Helsinki, accreditation, guiding etc. Well, we’ll do it tomorrow.

Oh, I also got a call yesterday telling me I’ve got the job I applied for. OMG YAY! So, on Thursday is a preparatory class, and then I start working officially in June. I’m going to be very busy this summer.

What else? Oh yeah, I finally got the Chemical Brothers new album on, er, Saturday, I think, and may I just say that it’s oh so great. So adding onto the celebratory post, I opened The Galvanize fanlisting and adopted The Third Age fanlisting. That’s it for now.

I’m absolutely zonked by the amount of work I have! And Friday is the last day of school! I’m almost finished with editing the play, thank God, still a few things to fix and stuff. Absolutely crazy, I can’t believe how I find the time to do everything, sleep a bit, and have my sanity intact at the end of the day. A friend of mine had her birthday yesterday, but since today is little Saturday, and last Wednesday, official party-day of the semester, we’re celebrating it today. And guess what? I’m completely broke. Am praying to some higher power to have put my paycheck onto my account today. Otherwise, it will be a boring night. Good thing though, since I can’t stand a bad hangover (who does anyway). Healthy, at least. Actually, I don’t even feel like partying much, drinking wise at least. I think I’ve become immune to the exhilaration you get when you pump up the booze, so to speak.

Am absolutely going crazy today, slept only 5 some hours last night, got up way too early, and am now crawling out of my skin, bouncing off the walls. This is too much.

Looking back, which you shouldn’t, but I do anyway, this year has been absolutely nuts. I can’t believe the school-year is over already. I sort of wish it wouldn’t, since I still have had a lot of fun, though in a very eccentric and overblown way.

Oh yeah, by the way. I don’t think I’ve said it here before, but I actually was accepted to the school in England which I applied to earlier this year. So, most likely, I will be moving to England to get a BA Hons in Video Media Arts. Exciting, though my ambitions do lie in film, not video. But I thought this would be a great start for what I hope to become a career in film, not video. Whatever. I might have confused myself a bit just now.

OK, so the video has almost completed the rendering, must check for mistakes, which I know there are some, but mistakes that I actually have the resources to do something about. Sigh. This is utterly hopeless. I definitely need those three years of school. And a brain-check.

St. Petersburg was great! I have two rolls of film developed, but I have yet got to scan the images I want to use. But first I have to mention a funny thing. You see, in Finland there a no stray dogs. I think that the stray dogs that exist get picked up by the Animal Protection organization, I can’t remember the official name. However, there are a lot of stray dogs in St. Petersburg. I was photographing just about everything just outside the check-in point for the ship, trying to get the film shot completely. I didn’t notice, but a stray dog had come up really close to me, and when I took the camera away from my eyes, I seriously got a heart attack when I noticed the dog about a meter away from me. Well, as you know, stray dogs are cute and everything, but can be infested with just about everything from diseases to parasites. So, I started to back up from the dog, since I have about the worst case of phobia for bacteria and unhygienic things. The dog, on the other hand, started following me. Mum was laughing while I tried to get away from the dog, because the dog probably only smelled our dog in my clothes. Well, I rushed inside the building for check-in, and the poor dog wanted to follow me. I think the only thing stopping it was fear of being trampled by the people going inside, and of being beaten by guards. I was honestly terrified, though I felt bad for the dog. I got a bad conscience for wanting to get away from the dog, especially as it didn’t try to hurt me. Well, that’s that, but man how ironic that things like this always happen to me! Boring story, I know, but bare with me.

Now I’m back at school, and I’m already bored with capturing the million tapes I have from the play. I know the lines by heart, and honestly, that is not a good thing! I’m starting to get ideas here. Not telling what ideas though, that’s private! ha. Anyway, I haven’t even started editing yet, since I haven’t got everything on the computer yet. And I fear that the editing is going to take a lot more time than I hope. Syncing the sound from three different shows is going to be hell! And now I’m missing creative writing because I’m writing this and recording the clips onto the computer. Simultaneously.

On top of all that I can’t leave! I have to finish this tape, yet I’m so hungry I could eat a horse (metaphor people!). I need nutrition! Food! All I have is chocolate, Fazer Geisha on top of that (best chocolate-nougat there is!), and I can tell you, that is no good when you’re starving. Anyway, I’ll try to have this done by 4PM, then go to the apartment, do my workout session, and then boil my pasta, which is all I have anyway. And ketchup and some Parmesan and perhaps a bit of grated emmental. Man, even that sounds so delicious at this point! Must not think about food. Must not think about food. Must not. Must not. Must not…

Will post pictures from St. Petersburg soon. Must get away from editing first, though. And find some food…

I’m going to Russia on Saturday. Well, actually, the cruise ship leaves Saturday, and we’ll be in St. Petersburg on Sunday. Me and mum, that is. Mum got a pretty good offer at work, so we decided to go! I’m so excited. I mean, I haven’t been anywhere, since…last year. Well, I know, that’s really not much, but seeing all my friends going here and there I’ve built up an incredibly strong travel-fever, really. I need to go!

Today I’m supposed to start editing the video material I shot last week. I have a total of 16 MiniDV tapes, varying between 30 and 80 minutes. Let’s put it this way, I shot three days, each day 2 hours. Two of those days I shot with three cameras, the last day I only shot with two cameras (one tape each). So, Tuesday I got 8 tapes, Wednesday 6 tapes (plus a bit on two of the tapes from Tuesday), and Thursday 2 tapes. I’ve gone through most of the material I have, NOT in real time, dude, that’s like fifty hours. But now, I managed somehow to brake the VCR. One of the tapes just got stuck inside and wouldn’t come out. The VCR just refused to do anything. So it’s getting repaired for I don’t know how long. Now I’m stuck with my teachers handheld MiniDV, which refuses to record anything onto the computer I’m editing the thing on. I don’t know, I don’t think it can handle the constant forward/backward searching that Adobe Premier likes to do when finding the right in and out point.

Yes, unfortunately I don’t have the pleasure of working with Avid. Adobe Premiere it is, and that’s what I’ll probably will have to live with forever. We were pretty lucky at our previous school to get to work with Avid. Lucky, INDEED! That’s the equipment professional editors use, even for film-editing. So, no, I can’t have that at the moment.

So let’s hope I get the original VCR back soon, because I only have 5 weeks left to edit the whole thing. The theater group who did it will want to see it, the director especially. And this is supposed to be my final project, the project that’ll show I’ve actually done something this year.

Anyway, Geamy, I changed the joined page to look a bit different, different colours and everything. I’m truly sorry that I didn’t realize before that it looked so similar to your’s! I feel really bad, and I hope you won’t hate me forever!

I know I wrote something about not being able to get my sleeping habits into order. Something happened. I haven’t been late one time. I have been up every morning at 7. I wake up before my alarm clock goes off. But it has it’s drawbacks.

I fall asleep at 9PM.

This is only the last few days. Last week I was wiped at 7PM every day. Staying up till 8PM was like fighting for one’s life! But amazing; I could sleep through the night without problems. Well, I could wake up a few times, but falling back asleep wasn’t a problem at all.

I’m just amazed! How could this happen? One day I had to wake up at noon, after only a few hours of sleep, to meet dad. Next thing I know, I’m driving home with Pal, Pal is looking worried as I’m laughing at how the traffic sign look “funny”. Quite suddenly we are home, I’m feeling quite high (from lack of sleep, mind you), and I fall onto the bed. In seconds, I’m asleep. This is at 8PM. Next morning I wake up at 7. And the routine is on.

But hey, I’m happy! I can actually concentrate on real things, like school, and do things with the effort I know I can achieve. And suddenly, for doing nothing, I feel proud. I should be proud about Pal, since she was the one who got me up on that fateful day in the first place.

So you see, I said the key-word. 9 PM. And ‘lo, it’s already 6:10. A bell should be ringing in your head now. The question is, thus, “How can I still be at school, when sleepytime is nearing?”

Good question! Indeed! I had to come back to finish the JOB I WAS HIRED TO DO! You read correctly! I was hired to design a small brochure for a vocational school in Karjaa, more like an invitation brochure about the 60th anniverary for the schools existence. Omg, am I making any sense anymore? nflksjaflkjegf!!!!

Right. A brochure. An invitation. 60th anniversary. Party. Brochure is about the program on the anniversary day. Program at the school. At the party at the school.

Too tired. If that didn’t make sense, sorry. But key is, I got hired! They didn’t even seen anything I’ve made before. My teacher landed me the job anyway, so they probablytook his word for me being able to do it.

The colours are not very nice, but their original school brochure is YELLOW, so I had to work with that visual identity. The one that existed. Well, it’s done now. I hope they’ll accept it, regardless it’s simplicity. I have a meeting with the headmaster at 8AM tomorrow, so I guess we’ll see then. Must not forget CD-rom.